Monster
by LoveOneLoveAll
Summary: Soul is all alone in life, feeling guilty about the things that he has done. Rated M for suicide attempt SoulXMaka May be OOC.


_**Disclaimer: Soul eater is not mine**_

_**Based on the song: Monster by Meg and Dia (This has a happier ending)**_

Soul grabbed the last gallon of gasoline and poured it in the bathtub, it was almost full. His eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry Maka." He kept saying as he set the gallon down next to all the others.

Looking down at the gasoline filled bathtub he remembered his mother yelling at him. "Monster!" she kept yelling… he was never loved. "All I wanted to be is loved…" he said to himself, his eyes filling up with tears as his hands went up to his hair pulling at it. "I'm my parent's regrets…" he said as he took a step closer to the tub.

He remembered the first time he met Maka. She was smiling down at him, helping him up and off of the ground. His had felt his heart skip a beat, something filling him… he liked it.

He had followed her to her house that night and when she had her back turned, he made his move. He kidnapped her, he needed to feel that feeling again. _"This must be what love feels like." _he remembers saying as he the night passed, her arms and legs tied down, she had finally fallen asleep.

"Love me… love me." He would always whisper to her while she slept, cuddling up next to her he himself falling asleep.

With a gulp, Soul put one foot into the tub a loud sob coming from him. "She never loved me… no one loved me… I'm a monster… I'm just their regrets." He said to himself as he stood in the tub looking out the window. He could have sworn that he saw someone run into the apartment building. He just blinked and pushed the thought away as he sat down in the bath tub letting the gasoline soak him.

He had started to get nightmare that not even Maka could erase, disfigured faces kept threatening to rip him apart, one of them had clawed into his chest where his heart was supposed to be… and found nothing, he didn't have a heart… he had turned into a monster himself.

He would wake up crying and Maka would be there for him but against her will. Of course he had untied her, but he was still forcing her to stay there with him.

Until he realized what his dreams meant… he was a monster, he didn't have a heart because of what he was doing to Maka… so he let her go.

She remembers the look of disbelief that she had given him. Before she could say anything he had slammed the door on her face. He now knew that he would never be loved… never.

He clutched at his heart, tears rolling down his cheeks as he reached for the packet of matches.

He heard a pounding on the door but he ignored it. Ripping a match out he played with it, he knew he was stalling, but really… he was about to kill himself.

"This is what you wanted mom, dad? You wanted me gone… fine." He whispered to the unit match.

"Soul! Don't do it!" he heard someone yell but at this point he just thought that he was going mad.

"_Maka… I just want you to know that I love you…and that I'm sorry for the unspeakable things that I have done to you." _He had said to her and then hung up the phone before she could reply.

He kept receiving calls from her but he didn't know that… he had turned off his phone and went to go buy the gasoline.

"Soul!" he kept hearing and then there was a defining crack that momentarily distracted him. He shook his head and lit the match.

He watched it burn in between his fingers, a stream of tears coming from his eyes as he watched it burn. "Goodbye." He murmured as he let it fall on the gasoline.

There was a pounding on the door. "Let me in Soul!" he heard Maka exclaim, but he thought that it was his imagination.

The flame exploded throughout the tub, the fire licking his skin. He couldn't hold back the painful screams that had come from him.

Maka's heart thudded as she backed up and kicked the door open. Her heart stopped when she saw what Soul was doing to himself, screaming in pain.

Without thinking Maka ran in, reaching through the fire, ignoring the pain and pulled on Soul's arm.

With shock filling him, he looked up to see that Maka was desperately trying to pull him out of the tub.

"Maka get away! You'll get hurt!" he yelled out.

"No! Not without you!" she yelled, tears slipping out of her eyes from both pain and sadness.

"Why?" he asked ignoring the pain that went through him.

"Because I love you Soul!" she yelled at him succeeding on pulling him out his body still up in flames.

"You're lying." He managed to say through his screams of agony.

"No I'm not!" she yelled at him as she grabbed a towel and put it in the sink, letting it fill up with water as she took off to find a fire extinguisher.

Soul was on the ground withering in pain, he was starting to see stars. Maka came back with a fire extinguisher, putting it on the ground and grabbing the wet towel and throwing it on top of Soul. Then grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed it on him.

She grabbed her phone and called an ambulance then hung up and looked at Soul. "Everything's going to be okay." She whispered giving him a small kiss on his burnt cheek as he passed out.

When Soul woke up he woke up to darkness. "Where am I?" he said to himself as he looked up at the ceiling.

He felt something tighten around his hand and looked down to see that it was…. A hand…

He looked at who that hand belonged to and he blinked in surprise. "Maka?" he said.

Maka sat up straight, her eyes red from crying and her skin pale form lack of sleep.

"Soul? Soul! You're okay!" she said , smiling at him.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" he asked her looking the other way.

Maka frowned at him. "Because I love you Soul." She told him her hand giving his a squeeze.

"After all the pain and suffering I put you through?" he growled at her, how stupid can this woman be?

"I admit that at first I hated you with all my heart." She said, making him flinch. "But then I got to know you, I got to know your past, your present… and well, I got to know you… I fell in love with you." She whispered.

His heart squeezed at hearing her say that, his eyes were filled with hope once again. "But I'm a monster, my mother said so herself." He whispered.

"Soul… your mother was wrong…" she whispered and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Soul sat there shocked as he started to whimper. "I've never felt like this before." He whispered looking up at her.

"Soul, I love you, and that will never change." She whispered this time, bending down to kiss his lips.

Soul looked at her, finally… he was going to be loved.


End file.
